Talking to Kids about Body Image & Food
Written by Emily Costa
In today's media-saturated world, maintaining a positive body image and healthy relationship with food can be a challenge for anyone, but it can be even harder for young impressionable minds. In this blog, we explore ways to navigate these essential conversations with your children. Our goal is to empower parents and caregivers with the right tools and mindset to help children build a healthy understanding of body image, food, and their interconnectedness, all while fostering a sense of acceptance, self-love, and balance.
A Positive Outlook Starts at Home
At home is where our children's shield against diet culture and negative body talk begins. This is where we, as parents and caregivers, can exhibit and model healthy behaviors and attitudes towards our bodies and food. It's important that we consciously avoid making negative comments about our own bodies, or others', and refrain from labeling foods as 'good' or 'bad'.
When we showcase a balanced approach to nutrition and exercise, and celebrate our bodies for their strength and capabilities rather than their appearance, we lay the groundwork for our children to develop a healthy body image and relationship with food. We empower them to resist the pressures of diet culture and navigate the world with self-acceptance and a love for their unique selves. Promoting a positive approach towards body image and food at home is a powerful means of preventing eating disorders.
Below are topics that can be important concepts and ideas to openly discuss, plus some questions to prompt healthy discussion with your child.
Talking about Diet Culture
Diet culture is a societal belief system that values weight, shape, and size over health and well-being. It's the notion that there's an 'ideal' body shape and size, and that achieving this through restrictive dieting, exercise, or both, is the key to success and happiness. This pervasive culture is often propagated through media, advertisements, and even in casual conversations, and it can adversely impact a child's self-image and relationship with food.
Explaining diet culture to children is crucial because it equips them with the ability to critically evaluate the messages they receive about body image and diet. When children understand that these societal pressures are not a reflection of their worth or happiness, they're better equipped to disregard these harmful narratives.
To help children block out diet culture, we can encourage them to focus on the intrinsic qualities that make them unique—like their kindness, intelligence, creativity, or humor—rather than external physical attributes.
Questions to spark discussion about Diet Culture with your child:
How do you think diet culture can influence people's self-esteem and body image?
Have any of your friends mentioned dieting or trying to lose weight? How did you feel about it?
Do you ever feel pressure to look a certain way or be a certain size? What would you say to a friend if they felt the same way?
What examples of Diet Culture can you recognize? Any commercials, articles, conversations that come to mind? How did they make you feel?
What are the things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with appearance, shape, weight or size?
How can we support each other in resisting diet culture and establishing a healthy relationship with food?
Keeping food neutral and refraining from diet talk
"Diet talk" refers to discussions centered around diets, weight loss, and body size, often promoting a restrictive or unhealthy approach to food and eating. It includes statements or conversations that glorify weight loss, demonize certain foods, or promote the idea that one's worth or happiness is linked to body size. Diet talk can negatively impact a child's relationship with food and their body image.
Teaching children to refrain from diet talk involves several key steps. Firstly, we as adults must model the behavior ourselves. This means avoiding diet talk in our conversations and promoting positive, balanced views on food and body image. Encourage children to appreciate their bodies for their capabilities rather than appearance, and to view food as a source of nourishment and enjoyment, not something to be feared or restricted.
Promoting a neutral relationship with food is also crucial in modeling healthy attitudes and behaviors for children. When discussing food, it's essential to avoid categorizing it into 'good' or 'bad', 'healthy' or 'unhealthy'. Instead, you can make it clear that all food has a place in our diet, and it's the balance and variety that matter. It's not about eliminating certain foods, but rather about understanding listening to our bodies and the importance of regularly incorporating a diverse range of nutrients into our meals.
Rather than asking your child to eat one food versus the other, let your child experiment listening to their body. Avoid using food as a reward or punishment and focusing on modeling that eating is a normal part of life, and separated from emotions and behaviors.
Questions to spark discussion about nutrition and food with your child:
What foods keep you feeling full and energized? What activities matter the most to you that you want to feel fully nourished and ready for?
What does hunger feel like to you, is it a grumbling in your tummy? When do you find yourself feeling it most? Is it after sports practice or dance class? Is it during lunch at school?
What type of food do you enjoy the most? Sweet? Salty? Spicy? Are there any foods you would like to try?
Do you remember a food you were reluctant to try but ended up liking?
Have you heard friends or family partake in diet talk? How did it make you feel?
How would you respond if you heard a friend talking about how ‘bad’ a certain food is?
How would you feel if someone told you that you shouldn't eat your favorite food anymore because it's 'unhealthy'?
Can you think of ways we can create a more positive environment around food at home?
Can you tell me what you think about food being labeled as 'good' or 'bad'?
Celebrating body diversity
Talking to our children about body diversity is essential in fostering a positive body image. It's crucial to emphasize that bodies come in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and each one is unique and beautiful. No body type is 'better' or 'worse' than another, and diversity is what makes us who we are. To celebrate their body, children need to understand that it's not about how they look, but what their body can do. Encourage them to appreciate their bodies for their strength, resilience, and the ability to engage in activities they love. Celebrating their body could involve recognizing their physical achievements, be it running faster, mastering a dance move, or simply enjoying a nature walk. This shift in focus from appearance to capability can help children develop a sense of gratitude and admiration for their bodies, enabling them to celebrate themselves in all their uniqueness.
What notable figures do you look up to? What attributes do you admire about them? Highlight that they did not mention body size. If they did mention body size, discuss it with curiosity.
How do you feel about your body? What parts do you love and why? What does your body allow you to do?
Have you ever noticed how different everyone looks in our family, among your friends, or in your class? Why do you think that is?
Why do you think it's important to respect and appreciate all body types?
How do you feel when you see people who look different from you?
What do you think about the way bodies are portrayed in TV shows, movies, and on social media?
Have you ever heard someone speak negatively about their body or someone else's body? How did that make you feel? How can you respond to it next time?
Reaching out for help
If a child is struggling with body image and their relationship with food, it's essential to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and openness. Start by opening lines of communication, encouraging them to share their feelings, fears, and concerns without fear of judgment. Listen actively and validate their feelings, reinforcing the idea that their worth is not defined by their physical appearance or their eating habits.
If you notice that your child's concerns about food and body image are leading to significant distress, unhealthy behaviors, or are impacting their daily life, it may be time to seek professional help. This could involve reaching out to your pediatrician, a dietitian specialized in eating disorders, or a mental health professional who can provide appropriate treatment. Early intervention can significantly improve the outcome of eating disorder treatment.
Remember, it's important to create a safe, supportive environment where your child feels comfortable discussing their concerns. Show them that seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a step towards healing and wellbeing.
At Central Coast Treatment Center, we offer comprehensive eating disorder treatment tailored to each child's unique needs. Our approach is grounded in evidence-based methodologies, combining nutritional counseling and psychotherapy to address not only the physical symptoms but also the underlying psychological issues associated with eating disorders. If you want to learn more about our programs for your child, please contact us today.
Emily Costa
Having struggled with an eating disorder herself, Emily is passionate about spreading awareness, education and the possibility of recovery with others. Emily previously volunteered as a Crisis Text Line counselor and with the eating disorder non-profit Project HEAL where she served as their blog manager, their NYC Chapter Leader & a recovery mentor in their Communities of HEALing pilot program completing training by the Carolyn Costin Institute. Emily now enjoys working with various treatment centers, clinicians and non-profits in the eating disorder community providing marketing and design services. In her free time she enjoys spending time with friends, hanging with her dogs, and reading a book at the beach.