Practicing Radical Acceptance: Combat Diet Talk in the New Year
Written by CCTC Staff Writer
Dieting has been a popular New Year's Resolution for many people over the years. Every January, hundreds of thousands of people pledge to “lose weight” and start a healthier lifestyle. Whether it is through restricting food intake or experimenting with eliminating different food groups, it is hard to miss the increased focus on food, body and weight. The casual mention of dieting behaviors can be heard in workplaces, at family gatherings, and while hanging out with friends. For some, it may feel inescapable. This can be an incredibly challenging time for those in recovery from an eating disorder or disordered eating. While there are many ways to prepare and navigate these situations, an alternative to explore this year may be practicing radical acceptance.
Read on to learn more about:
What diet talk is
Why diet talk is so triggering for those recovery from eating disorders
Learning to cope with diet talk
What radical acceptance is
Words of support for those fighting the diet mentality
What is diet talk?
Diet talk is a term used to describe conversations focused on food, dieting, and body shape or size. This type of conversation often focuses on discussing diets, extreme weight-loss measures, and beauty standards that are unrealistic and unhealthy. Diet talk can also involve comparing one’s own body to others in an effort to determine who is “healthier” or “thinner.” Diet talk can be damaging, as it often promotes dieting and body negativity. For individuals with eating disorders or body image issues, engaging in this type of conversation can be particularly harmful.
Why is diet talk triggering for those in recovery?
Diet talk can be triggering for those in recovery from eating disorders or other body image issues. Hearing about restrictive diets, extreme weight-loss measures, and beauty standards that are unrealistic and unhealthy can evoke painful memories and flashbacks. This can lead to a feeling of deep shame and insecurity which can have serious consequences on mental health. It can also increase the risk of relapse for those who are in recovery.
Learning to cope with diet talk in recovery
Unfortunately, we live in a world where diet talk is extremely normalized. In recovery from an eating disorder, learning to cope with diet talk is an important skill to work on. Here are some ways that are usually relied on to combat diet talk:
Trying to change the conversation by stating that these topics are not appropriate and refocusing the conversation on something else.
Reminding those close to you that conversations about food, weight and dieting are unhelpful for you in recovery.
If there are certain people who persistently continue diet talk around you despite trying to shut it down, set boundaries to spend limited time with them especially if they are starting a new diet this year.
While these can be effective in certain situations, they are not foolproof. When these situations arise, it can feel like a defeat and unclear what to do. This is where the practice of radical acceptance comes into play.
Related: Dealing with Diet talk in Eating Disorder Recovery
What is radical acceptance?
Radical acceptance is a concept developed by psychologist Marsha Linehan in the early 1990s.
In a simplistic definition, accepting radically is the ability to accept situations that are outside of your direct control without judging them. What difference does that make? Well, when we let go of the judgment, the suffering that is caused is significantly reduced.
It is the idea that we can learn to accept and embrace our emotions, thoughts, and beliefs without judgment or criticism. In other words, it’s about having an open mind and allowing ourselves to be with whatever emotions arise without trying to change or control them. This means acknowledging the thoughts and feelings we have without trying to push them away, judge them, or get rid of them. It’s about allowing ourselves to be in the present moment and being okay with whatever is happening right now.
Radical acceptance can help us feel more connected to our own experiences, rather than running away or fighting against them. It can also help us to become more compassionate and loving towards ourselves as well as others. Ultimately, radical acceptance is about learning to accept ourselves just the way we are, without judgment or criticism. Practicing radical acceptance can help us lead a more fulfilling life with less stress and anxiety.
How does practicing radical acceptance work with diet talk?
For many in eating disorder recovery, there may be a lot of different thoughts and emotions that come up when diet talk comes up around them. Maybe it is shame from being the only one not actively trying to change their body or diet. Maybe it is shame that they are still feeling the grief of not being able to partake in behaviors that promote restriction or are motivated by the goal of changing one's body. Maybe it is anger that any emotions or feelings still come up around diet talk and judgments of “I shouldn’t be feeling this way anymore.” It may be anger towards others that we wish knew better about the impact they are making on us. All of these scenarios bring up judgments towards ourselves and others, and at times, may evoke strong emotions and feelings. This is where the practice of radical acceptance can come in and help.
Instead of dwelling in negative thoughts or feelings, letting them arise without judgment and showing compassion to ourselves (and others!) can be a life-changing shift.
When diet talk arises, instead of thinking things like “I can’t deal with this,” “Listening to this is so unfair,” “I don’t understand why we are like this in our society?!”
While these may be valid thoughts, it may be important to identify that they do not help in the present moment.
Statements to practice radical acceptance
Here are some examples of coping statements that may be helpful in moments where diet talk seems to be too much:
I can’t change decades of diet culture at this very moment.
I have dealt with similar triggering conversations/comments, I can deal with this.
Every conversation will not go my way, but I am willing to practice flexibility.
How I react to these types of conversations/comments is what I can control right now.
I don’t have to like this conversation, but it is what it is.
I cannot change everyone's mind about dieting, I will not be upset or stressed over what I cannot change.
Everyone has their own journey and relationship to food/body/weight, all I can do is focus on mine.
Focusing on my recovery is all I can do at this moment.
Words of support for those fighting diet culture
Being the only one not engaging in dieting behaviors and diet talk can feel difficult and isolating. Resisting cultural norms can make you feel like you are somehow the odd one out. It takes a lot of strength to stand in a world drowning in toxic messages about weight, body and food and hold your ground. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling intense emotions or feelings at times, you are not alone!
If you are struggling with triggers or urges to return to disordered behaviors, know there is support available. If you are interested in learning more about our treatment programs at Central Coast Treatment Center, reach out to us today.