Partial Eating Disorder Recovery vs. Full Recovery: What state are you in?
Written by CCTC Staff Writer
If you’re reading this, you’ve probably put in a good amount of work towards recovery — that’s great! You’re eating more normally than you used to, and you seem to function better than before you started recovery. But at some point, many people think: “This is as good as it gets.” They mistake partial eating disorder recovery for full, lasting recovery, and so they stop halfway.
What’s the difference between partial recovery and real recovery? And how do you tell which state of recovery you’re in? Read on to find out.
What Does Full Eating Disorder Recovery Look Like?
Full eating disorder recovery is easy and hard to define — mostly because you are the only one who can tell whether you’re in recovery or not.
When you are in full eating disorder recovery, you may still have eating disorder thoughts and urges. But they are not as strong. You are able to notice that they are disordered, and make the decision not to act on them.
When you are fully recovered, your relationship with food, movement, and body image is similar to what it was before your eating disorder. When you are fully recovered, you may still have the occasional “bad body image day”, overeat, or lose your appetite. But you don’t try to control food, feel compelled to exercise, or feel like you need to change your body.
Things That Do Not Indicate Full Eating Disorder Recovery
Lots of people — people with eating disorders included — think that a “normal weight” and the ability to eat on a somewhat normal schedule means that you’re completely healed.
However, this is not true at all. The following are parts of recovery. But these things alone do not constitute full, lasting recovery from an eating disorder.
1. Medical stabilization.
Some people may suffer physical side effects of an eating disorder. But this is only a possible side effect of an eating disorder. The root problem is mental, and it does not go away because you clear up this side effect.
2. Weight gain.
Weight loss is another possible side effect of an eating disorder. Not everyone with an eating disorder loses weight, so not everyone needs to gain weight — this does not make anyone’s disorder more or less severe and life threatening.
If your body is malnourished, weight restoration helps your brain and body operate better. And you need a functional mind and body if you’re going to tackle the actual mental health disorder that caused your malnourishment in the first place.
Related: Weight restoration is critical for anyone who restricts nutrition, no matter their diagnosis, weight, or appearance. Here’s why.
3. Reaching a “healthy BMI.”
Less than six percent of people with an eating disorder are classified as “underweight.” This means that BMI is not not a good indicator of whether or not someone has an eating disorder.
If BMI cannot indicate if someone has an eating disorder, it certainly can’t signal whether someone is “recovered” from an eating disorder.
Related: Many medical professionals use physical features like medical stability, weight, and BMI to diagnose and assess eating disorders. Here’s why this practice is damaging — life threatening, even — for eating disorder sufferers.
4. Leaving an eating disorder treatment program (or never starting one).
Eating disorder treatment is both necessary and a privilege for many sufferers. There are many barriers to getting into treatment. If you do receive treatment, it’s usually not an adequate amount of time to tackle all of your issues.
Leaving treatment in partial recovery is an unfortunate reality for almost everyone.
5. Following a meal plan.
In early eating disorder recovery, you may be prescribed a meal plan. This is a guide for you to make sure you meet the nutritional needs of your body in recovery. Following a meal plan is great, of course, but it’s not the end goal of recovery.
One of the “destinations” at the end of the road to recovery is intuitive eating. When you eat intuitively, you are honoring your physical and mental hunger — you are in full recovery, and have total food freedom.
Related: Do you still have difficulty coping during mealtime sometimes? Here are mealtime support and coping practices.
6. Eating “enough.”
If you’re meeting the minimum of your meal plan (or nutritional requirements, if you don’t have a formal meal plan), that’s great. It’s an accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself.
But eating “just enough” falls under the category of partial recovery. Why, you may ask? You’re not technically restricting, or technically
Because even if you are meeting your nutritional requirements, you’re still ruled by food. You’re still afraid to eat in abundance. You’re afraid to honor your true physical or mental hunger.
7. Eating some fear foods.
You can eat some of your fear foods sometimes. But that’s not food freedom, if you can only eat fear foods in certain conditions.
If you:
Can only eat fear foods if you “work it off” later on
Only allow yourself to eat foods like cake or cookies on “special occasions” like birthdays or holidays
Can only eat fear foods if other people are eating them with you
Can’t allow yourself to keep fear foods in the house
Binge on fear foods because you won’t incorporate them in your everyday life
eat fear foods secretly
Feel guilty when you eat fear foods
Feel greedy or “bad” when you buy or eat fear foods
Throw out the rest of a package of a fear food because you fear the possibility of binging
Can’t bring yourself to have all of your fear foods
...you still have a problem with food.
Related: Facing a fear food is called an exposure. Learn more about exposure therapy for eating disorders, and how to use exposures to move further into real recovery.
8. Exercising less than you used to.
Some people develop an exercise disorder in addition to an eating disorder. If you are one of those people, reducing your frequency/intensity of exercise is a great first step to full recovery.
But if you’re still exercising, ask yourself why you’re doing it. If you’re exercising to:
Maintain your current weight
“Work off” any “extra” food you consume
Stop feeling guilty about what you eat
Feel less “lazy” or “unproductive”
Maintain a certain look
...you still have an unhealthy relationship with exercise.
How Do You Tell Whether You’re In Partial Recovery Or Not?
If you’ve had disordered thoughts and behaviors for a long time, any improvement in symptoms feels like recovery. You have more mental space for other things. Your body isn’t shutting down, you’re not severely underweight or overweight. You’re not consistently engaging in destructive eating disorder behaviors. You can work or go to school, and aren’t in immediate danger.
You are existing. You can exist in the state you’re in for the rest of your life without absolutely detrimental consequences. And you might really believe “this is as good as it gets.” But this is partial recovery, and it’s also a partial life.
If the following sounds like you, you are not in full recovery:
You’ve reached a “goal weight”, but refuse to weigh anything more than this number, which is usually not anywhere near your set point
You still “eat clean” or are very strict about what you allow yourself to eat
There are still rules around food (for example, you “have to” eat at certain times every day)
You still count calories, weigh food, or use fitness apps
Exercise is still a necessity, rather than an enjoyable activity
Large, baggy clothes are still a way for you to hide your body (this is normal to do in early recovery, but to reach full recovery, you have to get comfortable wearing whatever is practical for the weather or different events)
You still weigh yourself often, “just to know” what you weigh
Eating disorder thoughts or judgments are still an everyday battle
Food is still “good” or “bad”
Eating still causes you anxiety or plagues you with guilt
You can’t eat in front of others or at events
You don’t eat everything you’re craving, or you overeat what you’re craving
Essentially, if you don’t feel relaxed around food or exercise, or you feel uncomfortable in your body, you are only in partial recovery.
If you’re still unsure about your state of recovery, watch someone who seems to have a very normal relationship with themselves and food. A lot of people look at how children interact with food and movement. They (mostly) haven’t been exposed to diet culture, so they are as close to “normal” as it gets.
Partial healing is not the end of the road when it comes to recovery. You’ve gotten so far — don’t stop halfway!
If you or a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder, take the first step today and talk to someone about recovery or simply learn more about the holistic eating disorder recovery programs we offer.