How to Cope with Binge Eating Disorder During the Holidays
Written by CCTC Staff Writer
Everywhere you turn during the holidays, there is mention of food and weight. There's the conflicting articles on how to make the most mouthwatering desserts and how to lose weight during the holiday season on the same magazine racks in the grocery store. At office parties, people overeat with glee and then call themselves "naughty" for enjoying food. There are holiday meals where you're either "too skinny" or "too fat", which can affect your entire night.
Having any type of eating disorder is hard during the holidays, but navigating binge eating disorder during the holidays — a time when overindulgence is encouraged and then shamed — can be agonizing.
If you are in binge eating recovery during the holidays, or you want to start your recovery now, keep reading to find out:
How to handle being around food at any given social event
How to cope with comments about weight, shape, and food from strangers and loved ones
What to do if you end up binging during the holiday season
The holidays are supposed to be a special time — but if all you can do is survive for now, that's okay, too.
How to Cope with Buffets, Potlucks, and Large Sit-Down Meals
Holiday charity events, work potlucks, friends' parties, family get-togethers — they all involve food, and not just a little.
Most events are set so that you can either "graze" on food throughout the day, or involve a (typically large) meal while in a somewhat intimate setting.
There are so many reasons why you might binge eat in these settings, or how they might cause you to binge eat when you get home:
So much social interaction gives you anxiety, so you eat to numb those feelings
You don't give yourself permission to eat the things you consider to be "bad", such as cake or chocolate, so you binge on them, thinking that you'll swear off of them later on
Eating gives you something to do at a party, and you might overeat without realizing it
Someone else encourages you to eat a lot, even though you're not actually hungry
Overindulging at an event makes you feel like you "messed up" with eating and you might as well eat more, even though you aren't necessarily hungry
But the most common reason why people binge eat during or after a social gathering is because they didn't properly fuel themselves throughout the day. This often leads to a binge-restrict cycle that's really hard to get out of.
To stop yourself from binging when you're surrounded by so much food during the holidays:
1. Don't skip meals in order to "save room" for food later on in the day.
If an event is in the evening, you still have to eat throughout the day. If an event is in the morning, you still need to eat — which will help you get a good night's rest.
You're not supposed to let a car run out of fuel before refilling the tank. The same concept applies to people.
Related: This is why restful sleep is essential for eating disorder recovery.
2. Tune into your hunger and fullness cues.
Admittedly, people suffering from binge eating disorder often have trouble noticing true hunger and fullness cues.
Once you start recovery, and you start eating an adequate amount of food at regular intervals throughout the day, you will get better at listening to your body.
Mindfully use the hunger and fullness scale to determine your physical hunger levels.
3. Listen to your real food desires.
There are five types of hunger: physical, mental, emotional, sensory, and anticipatory hunger. It's important to honor all types of hunger, or you may end up binging.
What does this mean for you during the holidays?
Take a moment to slow down, breathe, and think about what you really want to eat.
Do you want another chocolate because you are physically hungry, desire the taste of it, or are anxious and need something to distract yourself with?
Are you eating your coworker's pie because you really want to, or because you feel obligated to?
Every type of hunger, and every kind of food-related desire, is valid. You have to honor each type, or you are restricting yourself in some way.
Even if you are eating a salad during a dinner out, you are restricting yourself mentally if you really wanted the pasta, but wouldn't allow yourself to have it.
So, whenever you're not sure why you want something, take a moment to tune in to the type of hunger you are experiencing. If you feel you're experiencing stress, rather than an actual form of hunger, find something else to soothe that stress.
Otherwise, eat what you want to.
4. Let go of the idea of "good" and "bad" foods.
You will have a hard time "eating what you want to" if you label foods. The type of food you eat is not a moral decision.
If you see different foods as "good" and "bad", you will not allow yourself to have certain foods. You might even go so far as to ban those foods from the house.
After restricting those foods, you will almost inevitably binge on them — especially if you walk into a situation where you did not expect to face those foods.
For example, if you banish chocolate chip cookies from your diet, you will fixate on them at the next holiday party.
Instead of giving food that kind of power over you, stop labeling foods. Food is just food, and every food has a place in your diet.
How to Handle Comments About Food and Weight During the Holidays
Some people — but not everyone — experience weight fluctuations during different stages of their eating disorder.
You may have lost or gained some amount of weight, and for some reason, a diet-obsessed person may decide to comment on it.
You might also have "a lot" of food on your plate, or have been grazing without realizing it, and someone might comment on that.
Here's how to handle those kind of triggering comments:
1. Come up with a response before even going to an event.
If you are expecting comments about weight fluctuations or the amount of food on your plate, come up with responses to those situations.
You might:
Come up with a funny response
Redirect the conversation to a more neutral subject
Set a boundary about what is okay and not okay to talk about
Excuse yourself from the situation altogether
It is okay to leave conversations that do not serve you.
Also, try not to take other peoples' comments to heart. Their words are not really about you, but are more of a reflection of their own insecurities and trying to make themselves feel good.
2. Have positive affirmations ready for any moments that you feel insecure or nervous.
Many people binge due to loneliness, nervousness, and anxiety. Social gatherings typically magnify feelings of insecurity and nervousness.
In those moments, have a few positive affirmations or mantras that resonate with you.
For example, if you are worried about other people judging your body, say to yourself: "My body is the least interesting thing about me."
If you won't remember them, write your affirmations on paper and read them whenever you need to.
Here are 101 positive affirmations for you to choose from, if you need inspiration. Only use ones that actually resonate with you.
Maybe you don't "love" your body yet, so choose an affirmation that's not about loving your body but rather accepting it and moving on with your life.
Related: This is the difference between body positivity and body neutrality in eating disorder recovery.
3. Have a support person and coping skills at the ready.
If someone or something triggers strong emotions and urges, you'll want to have some skills and tools to help you manage them.
You'll also want a support person with you, or someone you can call/text, whenever you need to.
Consider making a small coping skill toolkit full of things that soothe you. If you find tactile sensations to be soothing, pack some mini thinking putty or fidget toys. If music grounds you, bring headphones. If scents are calming, carry ones that you like. Pack all of these into a small bag and carry them with you.
If, for some reason, you are not able to bring physical objects with you, think of coping skills that do not require any equipment, such as the five senses grounding technique or focused breathing. Write them down on paper and carry that around with you.
Lean on your support person and your coping skills when you need to.
What to Do if You Binge During the Holidays
1. Try not to panic.
If you do end up binging, try not to panic.
Stop ruminating over the binge. Distract yourself with some DBT crisis skills if you're in acute emotional distress.
If you're at an event and you found you've overeaten to an uncomfortable amount, consider:
Going to the bathroom and splashing really cold water on your face or your hands
Taking a short walk out in the brisk weather
Listening to an empowering song
Calling your support person to inform them about your binge and your current emotional state
Going to a "safe place" where there are no people and breathing deeply
Watching a funny video to soothe yourself
If you believe you are a danger to yourself or others due to heightened emotions, contact your support person or a mental health hotline. Do not isolate yourself until you are sure you can keep yourself safe.
2. Commit to eating the next meal or snack.
Even if you overate at one meal, you still have to eat later on.
Plan out your next meal or snack and think about how you'll hold yourself accountable for eating it.
Ask someone else to sit with or call you while you eat if you need that support.
3. Practice self-compassion.
So, you have binged. Acknowledge it, and then move on with the knowledge that you are recommitting yourself to recovery.
Appreciate the fact that you are choosing recovery, even though it's really tempting to restrict your food, binge again, or use some other eating disorder behavior to alleviate your strong emotions.
4. Practice self-care.
After a binge, you might experience shame, guilt, or self-loathing. Counteract those feelings with some self-care.
Do something nice for yourself, whether that's getting your nails done, buying yourself something you really like, looking back on your accomplishments, journaling about your feelings — whatever makes you feel better.
You deserve to be treated nicely, even if your eating disorder voice tells you otherwise.
5. Try not to avoid social events.
Whether you binged in a public space or at home, you might feel the urge to never go outside again.
However, avoiding something only increases your fear of it.
So, try to get out of the house and to your next social gathering whenever you can.
Don't push yourself too hard. But don't let your eating disorder keep you from living your life, either.
If you or a loved one is suffering from an eating disorder, take the first step today and talk to someone about recovery or simply learn more about the holistic eating disorder recovery programs we offer.