Dealing with Diet Talk in Eating Disorder Recovery

Written by CCTC Staff Writer

Diet talk. It's something we all have engaged in, whether we realize it or not. And it can be incredibly harmful, especially for those in eating disorder recovery. Body shaming, body comments, discussions of food and dieting... All of these things can trigger negative thoughts and behaviors in those who are struggling with an eating disorder. So why do we do it?

Keep reading to learn more about:

• Why diet talk is so normalized

• The impact of body and diet talk

• How to deal with body and diet talk as someone in recovery

• Committing to stop engaging in diet talk

Why diet talk is so normalized

We live in a society that is obsessed with dieting and weight loss. It's everywhere we look, from the ads on TV to the articles in magazines. Because of this, diet and body talk are unfortunately very normalized in our society.

We grow up hearing adults talk about their bodies and dieting habits, so it's no wonder that we think it's okay to do the same. Body image issues are quite common among people of all ages. Many feel unhappy with their bodies and focus on losing weight or trying to change their appearance in one way or another. This makes commenting on our bodies and others as a way to feel better about ourselves.

Unfortunately, this kind of talk can be extremely harmful, particularly to young people who are trying to develop a healthy body image.

But despite that, we hear this talk at family gatherings, the office break room, in dressing rooms, and at lunch with friends. It can oftentimes feel inescapable.

It's the seemingly harmless comments like "wow, did you lose/gain weight" or "you look so good, what is your secret?" and "I'm going to be so bad and order this!" or "keep those cookies away from me, I'll eat them all!" and things like "I just started this new diet, I can't eat that anymore you are so lucky you can."

Oftentimes these things are said in a lighthearted tone, with a laugh or smile as if it is completely normal to be shaming oneself or others for food choices or commenting about their 'lack of control.' Unfortunately, this type of talk is so normalized people can even be used it as a way to bond and break the ice in new social situations. We share our dieting struggles and successes and commiserate over the difficulties of trying to lose weight. It is not until we learn about diet culture and how it is linked to so many eating disorders, issues with body image, and negative self-talk that we realize how problematic this diet talk can be.

The impact of body and diet talk

This talk is harmful as it can cause uncomfortable feelings and thoughts that either the person talking or the person hearing it has the wrong body or is choosing to eat the wrong foods. 

Dealing with body and diet talk as someone in recovery

For those with eating disorders or disordered eating, this type of talk can amplify already distressing concerns around food, weight, and body image.  It can lead to old thoughts and behaviors resurfacing as they try to cope with the anxiety and body image issues that diet talk often creates.

Hearing people make comments about your body or their own can make you focus on your size and the idea that if you are not working on changing your body anymore, you are somehow doing something wrong.

Learning to cope with this talk is an essential part of the recovery process. Here are some ways to handle these triggering comments:

1. Talk to your therapist or treatment team

Discussing triggers and how to deal with them is an important part of treatment. Your therapist can help you come up with a game plan for how to deal with body and diet talk when it comes up.

This might include things like coming up with a list of responses you can use or role-playing different scenarios so you feel more prepared in the moment.

2. Tell trusted loved ones and friends how you feel

Letting your loved ones know how body and diet talk makes you feel can help them be more mindful in the future.

You might say something like, "I'm working on my relationship with food and my body and comments about either of those things are really triggering for me. I would appreciate it if you could avoid that kind  of talk around me." Most people want to be supportive and will be happy to make that change for you. If not, you may want to keep some space between you and them until you feel a bit more equipped and steady in your recovery to be around them.

3. Remember, you do not have to educate others

For many in recovery, they may feel passionate about diet culture and explaining the truth about dieting and disordered eating. While this can be a powerful part of the healing journey for some people, it is important to remember that you do not have a responsibility to explain your views or educate others. You are allowed to take care of yourself and not feel the pressure of explaining yourself to others.

4. Change the subject or leave the situation 

If you are in a situation where body or diet talk is making you uncomfortable and there is no way to avoid it, changing the subject can be a helpful way to diffuse the conversation. Try to find a neutral topic like a new show or book you saw or read, something funny you saw on TikTok, or asking about something unrelated to the current conversation. If all else fails, you have every right to set a boundary and remove yourself from the situation.

Making a commitment to stop body and diet talk

It's time that we start working on changing the way we talk about food and our bodies. This change starts with every one of us. The next time you are tempted to comment on your body, weight, or food choices or someone else's, stop and take a moment to think if it is worth it.

If you or your loved one are struggling with disordered eating, body image concerns, or eating disorder recovery, know you don't have to go about it alone. Our team at Central Coast Treatment Center specializes in treating the spectrum of disordered eating and eating disorders, along with co-occurring disorders. Learn more about our programs and contact us today to see how we can support you on your journey to food freedom.