30 Ways to Respond to Diet Talk
Written by CCTC Staff Writer
Have you found yourself in this situation: you are excited to meet up with old friends at a restaurant, see family at a gathering after months apart, or enjoy a fun meal with co-workers...but you quickly find yourself surrounded by a bunch of people sharing their latest weight loss tips and tricks, hearing snarky comments about the food being served being "so bad", or even remarks about your own body or food choices? You are not alone!
If you are someone in recovery from an eating disorder, or disordered eating, or are healing your relationship with your body, these types of conversations can be especially triggering. While this type of talk is an unfortunate part of our lives that we may have to tolerate in certain situations, learning strategies to cope and change the conversation can make a positive impact on your recovery.
In this blog we will discuss:
What diet talk is
Why diet talk is so normalized
3 common scenarios and 30 ways to shut down diet talk
What is diet talk?
Diet talk is a term used to describe conversations about diets, food choices, eating habits and body image. It centers around the idea that our physical bodies should conform to certain ideals in order to be accepted or successful in society. Diet talk can include discussions of what kinds of foods are good or bad for us, which diets work best, and how much exercise we should get. It often includes comments on how someone looks or suggests ways they could change their appearance by changing their diet. Diet talk can make people feel pressured to adhere to a certain set of standards and can be damaging to those with negative body images or unhealthy relationships with food.
Related: Dealing with Diet Talk in Eating Disorder Recovery
Why is diet talk so normalized?
Diet talk has become increasingly normalized in our world. We are constantly being told what we should look like or how to change our bodies in order to be accepted by society. This messaging has made it feel like focusing on our weight, body and food is the one common goal we all hold. It can often feel like the one topic everyone can ‘bond’ over in social situations, making it extremely difficult to avoid.
Coping with diet talk
Being in recovery from disordered eating or body image issues may make you more aware of diet culture and the constant diet talk you are bombarded by. Learning to cope with this can be overwhelming at first. You may find yourself feeling like you are the only one fighting these messages in a world of normalized disordered eating and unrealistic body ideals. It is important to set boundaries and remember that you are in charge of your journey. You don't have to conform to unrealistic beauty standards or engage in shaming diet talk! While it is easier said than done, learning ways to shut down uncomfortable conversations can help you feel empowered and in control.
Common scenario #1: Comments about your weight or body
Whether it is commenting on weight gain or weight loss, or a general change in appearance, unsolicited opinions or thoughts about your body and appearance can be frustrating and triggering. There are many ways to handle this whether it's shutting down the conversation, moving them towards another topic, responding with some sass, or even being honest about your journey to body acceptance or recovery from an eating disorder - no matter which way you choose, here are 10 ideas to get you started!
“I’d prefer not to talk about my weight or body, thank you so much for understanding.”
“I did not ask for your opinion, can you please not comment on my body?”
“You know, it isn’t really all that kind to comment on other people's bodies or appearance.”
“Do you like when people comment on your body? It doesn’t really feel great does it?”
“I am working hard on accepting my body, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t comment on it.”
“Hey, I am in recovery from an eating disorder and commenting on my weight is not very helpful.”
“I actually wouldn’t know if I gained/lost weight. I choose to not keep track of my weight, it isn’t important to me and is not helpful.”
“We haven’t seen each other in a while, I’m sure there are tons of other things we can discuss!”
“So happy to see you, I would prefer we don’t talk about our bodies or weight. What is new with you?”
“I feel great/happy/healthy so that is really all that matters, right? I don’t like focusing on my weight.”
Common scenario #2: Someone brings up their new diet or exercise routine
In any social environment whether with co-workers, family, or friends, it is not uncommon for the topic to settle into a comfortable conversation of diet talk. Talking about diets or intense exercise regimens is a normalized way for people to bond. Learning to break the conversation, whether by asking directly, trying to change the topic, or walking away are all valid options to protect your boundaries.
“Sounds interesting, what else is new in your life?”
“I’m working on building a better relationship with my body/food, do you mind if we talk about something else?”
“That reminds me of this book/movie/documentary/TikTok I saw about XYZ, did you hear about it?”
“Don’t you feel like we are always talking about dieting? What else do you want to talk about?”
“I am in recovery from an eating disorder and to be honest discussing diets can be really triggering for me. Would it be okay if we chat about something else?”
“I saw you went on vacation to XYZ, how was it?”
“Isn’t it crazy how we all have spent so much time trying to change our bodies or appearance? Have you ever thought about what it would be like to no longer have to feel that way?”
“Talking about dieting is so boring, can we chat about something else?”
“I am going to go say hello to so-and-so.”
“I’ve made it a goal of mine to no longer talk about dieting and it has been such a game-changer.”
Common scenario #3: Commentary during meals
We’ve all heard it before. Comments like
- “Wow, that is all you are eating?”
- “Are you sure you want seconds?”
- “I wish I could eat that much and look like that!”
- “Do you know how many calories are in that!?”
- “I won’t be eating tomorrow to make up for this one!”
- “Oh I am so bad today for eating this!”
- “I am going to have to run for hours after this dinner.”
- “I’m going to be scared to weigh myself after this feast.”
- “I wish I could be as good/bad as you are with eating.”
These comments are usually said in a light-hearted way and are seemingly harmful, but once you start to identify diet culture and how problematic these comments actually are, it can be triggering, or just downright annoying, to hear them. Here are some ways to respond:
“I believe there is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ when it comes to food.”
“Unless you are eating poison, I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong or bad here.”
“It has changed my life to realize food is really just food. Have you heard of Intuitive Eating?”
“Commenting about how much I eat makes me uncomfortable, could you stop?”
“I don’t track calories or anything like that, I like to listen to my body and enjoy what I’m eating.”
“You don’t have to punish yourself for eating and enjoying this meal.”
“Can we talk about literally anything else?”
“You really don’t have to run for hours because you ate food. We all deserve to eat, it isn’t something to punish yourself for.”
“I am not good/bad with eating, I have worked very hard to have a healthy relationship with food and comments like this are extremely unhelpful.”
“I trust my body, don’t have much else to say!”
There is no perfect way to navigate these situations, but preparing ahead and setting boundaries can be a powerful step in building a stronger recovery. Remember, there is no shame or weakness in simply walking away. Sometimes there are certain individuals or people who are difficult to be around when it comes to these toxic narratives, and it is more than okay to protect yourself. It takes a lot of strength and courage to fight diet culture in our society. You should be proud of yourself. We are proud of you!
If you are looking for support to find freedom from diet culture and disordered eating, our team at Central Coast Treatment Center is here for you. Learn more about our services and programs or reach out to us today.