Letting Go Of Comparison: A Necessity to Recover from Disordered Eating
Written by Emily Costa
Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that often intertwine with self-image and societal expectations. In this blog post, we delve deep into the pivotal role comparison plays in the onset and perpetuation of disordered eating. This destructive habit of constant comparison, exacerbated by the omnipresence of social media and our culture's obsession with physical appearance, becomes a breeding ground for self-loathing and distorted body image among individuals susceptible to eating disorders. We will explore the dynamics of this cycle, how it traps those in its grip, and how breaking free from these comparative measures can create a pathway toward healthier relationships with food and body.
Before we dive in, what is the act of comparison?
Comparison, essentially, is the act of evaluating oneself against others, often leading to feelings of inadequacy or superiority. It's a mental yardstick that measures self-worth based on others' perceived success or status. This practice can significantly impact mental health, fostering anxiety, self-doubt, and depression, and for certain people, triggering disordered eating and body image issues.
How does comparison play a role in eating disorders?
In a world flooded with curated images of idealized bodies and lives, comparison can feel almost inescapable. It's important to understand this process as a cycle, where the act of comparison fuels feelings of inadequacy, which perpetuates negative self-image, eventually leading to disordered habits or extreme measures as a compensatory mechanism.
This is particularly potent among young people, who are more likely to internalize these comparisons and allow them to shape their self-esteem. When they perceive themselves as falling short of these societal standards, feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction arise, creating a harmful environment ripe for the development of disordered eating.
The seeds of an eating disorder often find fertile ground in these feelings of inadequacy. For some, the control they feel around food and their bodies through restrictive eating, over-exercising, or binging and purging becomes a coping mechanism to compensate for feelings of failure. The distorted belief is that if they can achieve that ideal body or control their food intake, they will finally feel adequate or successful.
Maintaining this disordered behavior further fuels the cycle of comparison. They may begin comparing their eating habits, weight, and body size to those around them, perpetually feeling like they are still not enough. This cycle of comparison and disordered eating is self-sustaining and self-reinforcing, trapping individuals in a spiral of negative self-perception and harmful behavior, making recovery challenging.
How does diet culture and social media fuel dangerous comparisons?
Diet culture and social media play a significant role in fueling the comparison trap on a daily basis. Social media platforms are inundated with posts promoting 'perfect' bodies, 'clean' eating, and extreme fitness routines, creating an environment where comparison thrives. This constant exposure to idealized images and lifestyles can lead to individuals comparing their own bodies and dietary habits to these unrealistic standards.
Diet culture, with its emphasis on thinness as the ideal, often reinforces these comparisons by promoting restrictive diets and weight loss as measures of self-worth. In this digital age, where scrolling through feeds and encountering these messages is a part of daily life, it becomes increasingly difficult to escape the comparative mindset that diet culture and social media perpetuate. This daily bombardment of comparison and idealized images can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and fuel the cycle of disordered eating.
And if you feel stuck in this cycle - know it is perfectly normal! It can be hard scrolling through Instagram and TikTok seeing tons of influencers and celebrities share their ‘perfect’ lives, from their workouts to what they eat in a day.
Related: Eating Disorders and Social Media: The Good, the Bad, and the Sensitive Content
What are examples of unhealthy comparison thoughts or behaviors?
Comparing body size or shape with peers.
Analyzing what others are ordering at a restaurant or social gathering.
Closely observing the portion sizes of others' meals.
Comparing clothing sizes with friends or individuals on social media.
Evaluating physical fitness levels against those of others.
Comparing the number of calories consumed.
Judging self-worth based on perceived attractiveness compared to others.
Comparing progress in weight loss or body transformation journeys.
Noting others' frequency or duration of exercise.
Comparing dietary choices, such as veganism or gluten-free diets.
Judging self-discipline based on the ability to resist certain foods.
Comparing the speed of eating or drinking with others.
Evaluating personal attractiveness based on others' reactions or comments.
Comparing the clearness or quality of skin.
Judging personal success by others' compliments or criticism about weight or body shape.
Comparison is a thief of joy
The phrase 'comparison is a thief of joy' holds an especially weighty truth within the context of body image and eating disorders. When individuals engage in constant comparison with idealized standards presented by society through various mediums like social media, they rob themselves of the joy and contentment that come from appreciating their unique identities and bodies. This relentless comparison blinds them to their worth, strengths, and achievements, leaving no room for self-appreciation or acceptance. It creates an insidious cycle of discontentment, self-judgment, and negative self-image.
How to break free from the comparison trap
Escaping the comparison trap and combating negative thoughts is a conscious and ongoing journey that requires self-awareness, self-compassion, and determination. The first step is recognizing and acknowledging these patterns of thought. Awareness is a potent tool; noting when and why comparison arises, and what triggers negative thoughts, can help in building resilience. It's essential to remember that everyone's journey is unique; comparing ourselves with others often leads to an unfair evaluation as we measure our behind-the-scenes against their highlight reels.
Next, challenge these thought patterns. Every time a comparison or negative thought arises, counter it with a positive affirmation or a realistic perspective. If you find yourself comparing your body to someone else's, remind yourself that everyone has a different body type, and physical appearance doesn't equate to value or worth. When negative self-talk emerges, counter it with self-compassion. Instead of berating yourself for perceived flaws, acknowledge them as part of being human and focus on your strengths and positive attributes.
Practicing mindfulness and gratitude is another powerful strategy. Mindfulness encourages living in the present and accepting ourselves as we are, while gratitude shifts the focus from what we lack to what we have. Cultivate a daily gratitude practice; write down three things you're grateful for each day to foster an appreciation for the positives in life.
A reminder that all bodies are different, and that is more than OK!
Embracing body diversity is a key step in letting go of harmful comparisons. It's crucial to remember that our bodies are all different sizes and shapes, and these differences are part of what makes us uniquely beautiful. Even if two individuals eat the same foods and maintain identical workout regimens, their bodies may respond differently due to factors like genetics, metabolism, and hormonal balance. This diversity is natural and something to be celebrated, not compared. Making the conscious decision to let go of comparison can significantly enhance your life, allowing you to focus on nurturing and appreciating your body for all it does, instead of stressing over perceived flaws. This shift in mindset paves the way for a more expansive, fulfilling life experience rooted in self-acceptance and celebration of diversity.
Lastly, consider seeking professional help if the negative thoughts persist or lead to harmful behaviors, such as disordered eating. Therapists and counselors trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy can provide tools and techniques to help identify and change destructive thought patterns. You don't have to go through this journey alone; seeking help is not a sign of weakness, but a testament to your strength and commitment to yourself.
Remember, this journey takes time and patience. Progress might be slow and non-linear, but each step forward, no matter how small, is still a step in the right direction. Be kind to yourself, celebrate small victories, and remember that you are more than any comparison or negative thought that crosses your mind.
If you find yourself stuck in food and body obsession, reaching out to Central Coast Treatment Center can be the missing step you need to take to finally break free from this struggle. Our dedicated team of professionals offer virtual and in-person treatment programs for individuals in California. It's time to reclaim your life and embrace a future filled with self-acceptance and peace.
Emily Costa
Having struggled with an eating disorder herself, Emily is passionate about spreading awareness, education and the possibility of recovery with others. Emily previously volunteered as a Crisis Text Line counselor and with the eating disorder non-profit Project HEAL where she served as their blog manager, their NYC Chapter Leader & a recovery mentor in their Communities of HEALing pilot program completing training by the Carolyn Costin Institute. Emily now enjoys working with various treatment centers, clinicians and non-profits in the eating disorder community providing marketing and design services. In her free time she enjoys spending time with friends, hanging with her dogs, and reading a book at the beach.